I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
