The maid of honor just puked.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
