The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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