im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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