Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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