Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize