Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
