You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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