Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
