i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize