I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
