Your tits are I can't wait for
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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