so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
