You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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