Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize