hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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