so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
