But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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