his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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