I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Randomize
