While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
