THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
