Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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