Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
