I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize