youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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