he told me I talked like a deaf person
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
