I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
