dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
