Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
