You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
