MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
