I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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