Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
