Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
