phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
