i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
