he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
