Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
