A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
