Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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