With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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