Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
