Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
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