I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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