So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
