Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
