Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
