I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
it hurts more in the daytime
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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