Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
