dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
