I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
