Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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