eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
