It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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