Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Man, jail baloney is awful.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The air was thick with penises
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
