That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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