Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I cut my penus on the lid.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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