kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
