Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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