After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
