I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
