I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
