everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
