tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
