Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
