thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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