If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
