Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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