So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
