hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
