My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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