Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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