So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
